Some Old Bloke by Robert Llewellyn

Author:Robert Llewellyn [Llewellyn, Robert]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781783526017
Publisher: Unbound
Published: 2018-09-06T16:00:00+00:00

Three Eggs on a Chopstick

She walked onstage in a tattered black tutu, heavy boots, a mop of unruly hair and a dollop of lippy (Australian for lipstick) on her generous mouth. She shouted the word ‘egg!’ at no one in particular and a small parachute fell from the ceiling high above her which she seemed to catch without looking.

In a tiny harness beneath the parachute was an egg.

She shouted, ‘Egg!’ again and a small, yellow, remote control model Jeep drove out from the wings; in the driver’s seat was another egg. She picked up the second egg and again shouted, ‘Egg!’ Someone unseen at the back of the auditorium threw an egg in her direction, which again she caught with ease. She pulled a small stick from somewhere in her frock and shouted, ‘Chopstick!’

She then proceeded to balance the chopstick on her nose, and, one by one, all three eggs on top of the chopstick. At the last moment she stood in front of the silent crowd and spread her arms wide, three eggs, one on top of the other, on a chopstick, balanced on her nose.

The crowd went bananas, they stood and cheered, they clapped and whistled as she maintained the ludicrous balance for an impossible length of time.

Finally, she leaned forward and the eggs fell separately to the ground, breaking in a mess on the stage. Real eggs, no glue, no string. She caught the chopstick and tossed it in the air, again catching it with such nonchalant ease that the audience even applauded that. She offered the crowd a brief smile and stomped off the stage.

This took place during a performance by Circus Oz in the Assembly Rooms main theatre at the Edinburgh Festival in 1987. I will never forget it. I was mesmerised and enchanted. I suppose, in a shallow way, I was in love.

The rest of the show was equally brilliant: incredible feats of gymnastics and acrobatics, amazing music, and staggering feats of strength, particularly from the young woman who balanced the eggs on a chopstick.

I went to see the show several times because I was working in the same venue, doing fairly sub-standard comedy routines that weren’t really going anywhere.

After one of the Circus Oz sell-out performances I hung out in what was dubbed ‘the star bar’. I had a pass that allowed me access, I was an Edinburgh old timer by this point, I’d performed at every Fringe Festival for the previous six years and knew the ropes.

In the star bar that night was a gaggle of performers from the Circus who’d just come offstage and were relaxing away from their huge audience. Circus men in weird tights and baggy yellow shirts, women in weird tights with big red lace-up boots and spangled tops. These were Circus gypsies, a type of performer who up until I saw Circus Oz I had little interest in, but these people were different.

I casually moved through the crowds with my orange and soda and stood near them. They were so dishevelled-looking, so confident of their incredible physical prowess.

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